I think I have still been in a surreal state of mind since my diagnosis. Starting the chemo has finally been the wake up call. I made it a point to actually fix my hair and do my make up the morning of my first treatment. I dressed nicer to chemo then I probably have in weeks. When I got to the center, they took my blood pressure which was slightly higher then normal, but expected because of nerves, and my pulse was 151 bpm....yes that is right 151....I think my heart wished I would've left it at home. After checking in, we were escorted to a private room so Nurse Bonnie could go over all the drugs with me, explain what was going on every step of the way. My biggest concern with chemo has been my eyebrows and fertility. Bonnie did tell me they didn't have the ovary suppressors that I wanted, that I would have to wait. I immediately broke down and cried, that was the one thing I wanted. The doctor came in and said it would be okay if I got the injection the following day, he explained to me that there isn't a guarantee that the injections will work. After a awkward, in front of doctor and nurse conversation, Jesse and I decided to go ahead and proceed. Its not like we know any better, so the only thing we have is to trust our doctor. The first of the FEC cocktail was cytoxan which made me pee red for about a day in a half. It actually reminded me of when I was 10-11 and I ate an entire red velvet cake by myself and peed red, except then I thought I started my period. The cytoxan was followed by 5-FU and epirubicin. All in all, receiving the drugs is easy, they popped an IV into my port and kept fluids coming for about 2 1/2 - 3 hours. I left the center on my own two feet, and even ran to the grocery stores to get some foods for me, soft toothbrushes, pretty much additional stockpile to my chemotherapy side effect arsenal.
I was starving by the time I got home, ate a small bowl of ice cream, took my anti-nausea medicine (I had to get ahead of the nausea) and laid down. If I had to guess, maybe 90 minutes later is when everything took a turn for the worse. Out of nowhere I could feel the ice cream come right back up, I made it to the kitchen sink. However, the smell of the ice cream made it worse, I couldn't stop. It wasn't until it was stomach acid was the only thing that was coming up I could stop. Jesse and I immediately copped it up to something tiny, we read our papers and it said to only call doctor if you vomit 4x in 24 hours. I decided to lay back down, I had a horrible headache. It felt like a semi had parked on my head. A couple hours passed and I started getting hungry again, I decided to try 3 ritz cracker. Almost immediately, a reverse Sir Isaac Newton philosophy occurred, well I was 0-2. I still continuous sipped on water, but water began making me sick, I took a nap, and then finally 6 hours after I left my first chemo treatment it all came to head. I could no longer keep down water, my body was aching, the semi was still parked, and my throat was raw from the acid that kept cruising through it. Jesse left me mostly to myself (per my request), unless I called him, Nora (the dog) stayed by my side. He decided to come check on me, only to find me on the bathroom floor, slightly glistening from my most "recent porcelain workout." I was defeated, I couldn't do it, I told him if this is how it always was I didn't want to do it. He set up a fan, I laid in the fetal position, while Nora tried to scoot by me to lay down next to me. We called the doctor, and told him what's wrong. I explained I had left over anti-naseaua meds from my last surgery. We made a group decision that would be the best bet, since the other drug wasn't working, that and as soon as I take it I am a sleeping, snoring, drooling, hot mess of a lady. I made it through the night, and first thing in the morning the doctors office called to check in on me. I explained that I hadn't had any fluids in over 12 hours, at this point, I couldn't. They immediately called me in, not only did they have to give me the zoladex injection, they wanted to give me fluids.
As Nurse Amber called me back she gave me that head tilt, sympathetic look aka "you look like shit," and led me back. She immediately hooked me up to a bag of IV fluid. Well after I vomited in the bathroom. The fluid made me feel better, and 30 minutes after I was hooked up to the IV they gave me the rolodex. They told me that it was a implant so they would give me lidocaine first. I had a topical lidocaine shot, followed by one that was a little deeper and then the implant, all of which was done in my belly. I made Jesse hold my hand...what else is a husband for? After two bags of IV fluid, a new prescription of anti-nausea I was let go. As soon as I got home, I feel asleep. I spent the next couple hours, sleeping, sipping water, and repeat. I munched on some animal crackers and started feeling a bit better. I was able to eat a grilled cheese sandwich that night.
Over the past couple days, I have been sleeping on and off throughout the day, but I have been able to keep everything down. I have been super exhausted and achy which is expected and preferred to nausea (at least by me).I do want to say the other people I have talked to that has gone through this, didn't have the reaction I did. There's a lot of things that can be added, and changed to make it easier on me. The doctor has said he is going to add emend to my next treatment to help me not "have a rough time" my next go around. Finger's crossed, that one will go better.
Score:
KP -1 BC - 1
