The second round of chemo was not as bad as the first. The closest thing I can think of to compare it would be it felt like a hangover. Not a normal hangover, more like one that you have after your epic 21st birthday, the only difference is no medicine makes the headache or nausea go away from me. However, I am able to eat. Drinking is a different story, it took about 3 days and multiple glasses and cups of water to realize that the horrible taste from the water was not the filter in the fridge, the plastic in the cups, the glass in the cups, or the imaginary bug that flew into the cup. It was me. For some reason the taste of water makes me sick, I can drink Powerade, Gatorade, and Capri Sun. By knowing this information, I have created 2 plans for everyone: 1. Buy stock in the companies, buy now, sell by the end of November, it may go up because of my consumption. I'll expect 10% of whatever money you make. If by some fluke you lose money I will not repay you (what do I really know about the stock market, I am only trying to stay hydrated) 2. donate bottles of it to me (I like purple, blue or red), I am trying to maintain a minimum of 1.5 liters of fluid a day. I am joking about the donating, I coupon and only buy those on sale...so far we are doing good with my supply after this round, I need to start stocking up for the remaining 4. I am hoping they will have a sale before my next one.
I went back to work, yesterday. It was pretty eventful. I got up early, got dressed in my "new shirt" aka clean shirt, fixed my fabric ponytail, and then I realized, I was actually nervous. I haven't worked in 2 months! That's the longest break from working since before I got my first job at Sonic when I was 16. I actually started my now job a week after my college graduation, while still working at Sonic. All I could think about the dread of stress from working and thinking what if I forgot everything. As I was walking up to the office, fabric ponytail blowing in wind I got stuck behind 2 guys in my department, 1 being a supervisor. The supervisor was carrying a ladder and had set it down to scan his badge in the office, then suddenly it fell. It fell fast, and it fell hard....right on my foot. I didn't scream, jump, or yell, I think I was stunned. After I took my first step I could feel the pain in my foot. I didn't overtly say the ladder hit my foot. I didn't want to be the girl with cancer that gets injured before she even gets through the door on her first day back. It wasn't until he asked me did I say, "Well actually the ladder did land on my foot, but I'm okay." Throughout the day he kept checking on me, filled out a incident report, the entire time I was laughing. I even told him I just may come to the office in a wheelchair or crutches. Why not milk it right? I have to have some fun in my life. I could tell I didn't have a broken foot, I knew it was going to swell even more (mostly because it kept getting bigger throughout the day) and bruise. I bruise easily, if my knee thinks I almost hit almost the coffee table with it, a bruise will form. Ultimately, I am not worried about my foot because a bruise is not a break. They way I figure it, it could have been worse, no need to worry if it's not broken. I got a funny story out of it, and there are so many more important things in life then a bruised foot. I do apologize for the need of a pedicure.
The remainder of my day I caught up on as much as work as I could. I had many co-workers come and check in on me to see how I was doing, all of which were very supportive. All in all, I had a good day, I left with a newly tightened Sperry, no broken bones, and a smile on my face.
I plan on trying to work, only taking off during chemo treatments and the couple days after to recover. I am concerned if I will be able to do it. I have days I feel great, like my old self. I have days where I can't get out of bed, due to exhaustion, and being sick. On the days I feel good and I am at home, I feel bad for being at home. I feel like I am being selfish by not working on those days. My only problem is I don't know if it's a good day or bad day until I start my day going. I figure that if I maybe work and got some normalcy in my life that it would help me, maybe my bad days won't be so bad. I am hoping to slowly ease back into everything, hoping to keep the stress level to as low as possible right now. I am trying to concentrate on myself more then anything, which is hard when I have unintentionally always put my work first. The only way to find out if I can work is by actually working.
